Pretty Little Liars. Baby, Bang, Crash.

For my first review blog I chose to write about the dramatic season finale of Pretty Little Liars entitled ‘The Darkest Knight’ which shall forever be known by me as ‘bAby, bAng, crAsh’ and boy was it a doozy, but let’s get the obvious out the way. We still did not get a feckin identification of uber A. I mean seriously 7 seasons, but it was almost forgiven in the cliffhangers. Let’s start at the beginning.

911. What’s your emergency? 

The Liars minus Hanna add Mona and Caleb decide to call emergency services with fears that Noel has kidnapped and possibly seriously injured if not killed her.

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Meanwhile, in a run down motel Hanna wasn’t lying about cutting a bitch. Choosing to stray from the Liars, Hanna embarks on a solo mission to bring down who she believes is Uber A, Noel Kahn. She starts strong by getting the big man tied down and a blood sample that she takes to the lab for testing, but that is where is starts to go downhill for Hanna. Her face is plastered all over the news, so she calls Mona for back up and worst of all Noel turns out not to be the mystery second child of Mary Drake. But that was the least exciting news for Hanna.

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Fans rejoiced for the reconciliation of Haleb. I was thinking quit playing games you two and just commit already, but alas we did not have to wait long.

‘You won’t admit we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives together’.

And Hanna was all…

What did you just say?’

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I never want to spend another day without you. EVER for the rest of my life.’ Queue the AWWW!!!

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However, not to take anything away from Haleb’s rekindling romance with beautiful dialogue it was the body language with gave me an awkward feeling of prying eyes. It felt like watching two teens giving it a red hot first go and let’s not forget the cliché handclasp on the furry rug. Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 5.29.20 pm

The whole scene from the moment they knelt on the rug was awkward. Starting with romantic moment Caleb kisses Hana’s scars which can be forgiven, but it then quickly loses appeal when he fumbles over the clasp of her bra all while Hanna’s back is turned awkwardly away from the camera to cater for any possibility of an accidental nip slip.

 

BABY! BABY! BABY! Well, hay their Alison, soon to be bAby mama and all her drama. Still not the most intense moment of the episode, but none the less it was OMG. That is one major baby drama and boy (or girl) it will have a serious identity crisis when it gets older. Of course, at first, I believed baby daddy is Elliott Rollins, I mean Archer Dunhill and I foreshadow Emily and Alison raising the child together, but then I read an article based on a fan theory that made perfect sense to me. Allison is pregnant with Emily’s eggs that she donated then were stolen and implanted into Alison whilst she was in the mental institution. Could there be a different father?

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Uh Oh! Did someone forget to pay attention in rope tying class?  In a classic PPL twist, the antagonist in Noel Kahn pulls a Houdini. This explains the rest of the dramatic conflict throughout the rest of the episode.

 

There were a few memorable kisses this episode. Haleb, Spoby, Emison, but this next one was for all the wrong reasons. I am team Ezaria,but when Nicole Gordon walked from the jungle after three years she is unaware of Ezra’s fiancé back in Rosewood. Side note can I just take this time to note her hair still looks great.

Yet this adds to the ever increasing list of love triangles.

Paige loves Emily. Alison loves/doesn’t want to be alone with Emily. Emily is stuck in the middle.

Aria loves Ezra. Ezra loves Aria and Nicole. Nicole loves Ezra or any human contact at this point.

Spencer loves Toby. Toby loves Yvonne.
Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 5.36.40 pmSpencer and Toby’s goodbye was almost heartbreaking, especially with this cracker of a line from Spencer

‘You deserve that great, big, beautiful love’.

We all deserve great, big, beautiful love Spencer. Then came my favourite kiss of the night. Spencer and Toby that was one hell of a goodbye kiss I was half expecting Yvonne to be standing behind them.

My favourite partnership is by far Mona and Caleb, now that would make one hell of a spin-off. Hacking and manipulation spy craft that would make Uber A nervous if we ever find out who they are soon.

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Later the Liars  arrive at The Joseph Lloyd King School for the Blind and is seriously creepy. And it got creepier after a game of hide and seek between Noel & Jenna VS the Liars. It came to heads (see what I did) in a very dramatic and gruesome way that is if your name is Noel Khan who is twice the man he used to be.

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Beheading jokes aside that was a terrifying yet memorable way to be killed off, but nothing beats Jenna stepping in the blood and knocking it on her way up the stairs.

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BANG!

After being shot by Jenna, Spencer crawls away as best she can with a bullet to the shoulder. This lead to the biggest revelation of the night.  Spencer Hastings is revealed as the sought after second child of Mary Drake.

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I shall pause to let that sink in.

CrAsh, was it an accident or did uber A play a part in Toby and Yvonne car crash?

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This episode like any good finale left me with a few lingering questions. 1. Was Spencer adopted in the show? 2. Weren’t Spencer and Jason siblings, but now they are cousins, wow talk about a complicated family tree. 3. Who else besides Mary knew about Spencer’s true identity?

The most lingering question is who dies. Spencer? Toby? Yvonne?

 

Well Liars fans, till next year.

Always,

CLK

 

Benson, Eliza. (2016). http://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/movies-tv/news/a42557/pretty-little-liars-theories-season-7-finale/

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